I think the reality has truly hit. I’ve fallen in love with Scuba Diving. Not in the same way as my daughter – her long-term view and desire is to enter the profession as an Instructor. The island life calls her. My thinking is a little different.
Acknowledging the fear that had been formed previously, then stepping into and letting go of it, with the help of the staff at Sunshine Divers, seems to have plotted my course for the future. If it can be.
This seems like a healthy love. I want to be with it, but can be without it. I don’t need it but I’d like it in my life – to be part of, to enjoy, to relax in the doing of the challenge of diving.
A constant for me over the years, has been a desire and a Want to act. Always thinking that I had left myself behind somewhere long ago. And I realise now, I had. Noone can tell me different or influence my thinking, where this is concerned.
I get it now – I missed my calling. Life kicked me in the gut and it changed everything, at a tender and developmental age.
Oh, by the way – there is a lot of life that went on in-between the first and last discovery. I haven’t been just sitting around waiting.
Now, I’m starting to feel a little differently – instead of looking backwards and thinking about what I’ve missed. Suddenly I find myself excited at looking forward and seeing a pathway, waiting for me to tread it. Just like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz.
An opportunity awaiting – if I choose to walk my own path.
I think I’ve already taken the first few steps. The desires and wishes I now have short term, align with my long-term vision.
It’s my age that seems to be the issue this time around – this is where my concern lies. At 47, I am left wondering-can I do this?
With anxieties presenting themselves as questions:
Will I have enough time?
Can I make it happen?
Will my heath hold out?
Born out of the chaos inside. Believe me, I did wonder how this would unfold. My true nature has shone through, and shown me the way.
Now like in the Wizard of Oz. I find myself clicking the heels of my ruby slippers and saying, “There’s no place like home, there’s no place like home.”
I just gotta take myself there…
If you clicked your heels, where in the world would you want your life take you?